mid chemo PET

Today I had my half-way PET scan. Fingers crossed all is as expected. not sure how I would take "it's not working". So not going to think about that!!

We went to london at the weekend and saw 'Rock of ages'. Was amazing and hysterical. Even better than 'We will rock you'!!! We also went to the new Dungeons (because we had some free tickets) and they were pretty cool too, although still kinda the same as the old ones. And we tried a corn dog for the first time. They're pretty tasty!!

Tonight i am going to make the most of my time off work and do some dance classes. I'm hoping they will help me focus my mind and not feel so ill after chemo too. Also put on 4kg so be nice to try and keep my body as fit and toned as I can. God knows how i put on 4kg!! I'm pretty sure it's the chemo as I haven't been eating more than usual. Or the hospital scales are wrong haha.

So anyway, tonight is pole dancing (but for fitness). It's meant to be fun. The fact I have no upper arm strength is beside the point :P

I forgot my wig at the weekend and I felt a bit awkward going to restaurants and bars with a bald head and it made me feel sad that I didn't have hair but hey ho. i suppose it was a reminder to me what I'm missing. Especially watching the theatre, I would love to be doing theatre again! or any acting job. But in August i will, so not long now :)

hi all,

Feeling less stressed etc today. The emotions you get with chemo are a bit like a roller-coaster. And it's so hard to have patience with people on your bad days. Glad to say my worry about going through temporary menopause is over (which is a relief) :) 

I'm going to have a nice weekend away this weekend in London. We have some free Dungeon tickets so we're going to make good use of them! And we got a hotel for £13 each (bargain eh?)

Then on Monday I have a lung function test to see how they're coping, Tuesday is my mid-chemo PET scan and Friday is my next chemo (if the PET is all good). So kinda a big week next week. Please keep everything crossed for me for the best possible result :D

I have ordered some travel sickness wrist bands in the hope they may help my nausea and I have also bought some ginger chews. They may or may not work but it's worth a shot. I'm still on a mission to find a acupuncturist but one will arise I'm sure. I heard that sometimes it's available on the NHS, so am looking into that also.

I've heard a lot of talk recently about healthy eating whilst on chemo. I just wanted to say to anyone going through chemo, don't worry about it!! I went into chemo wanting to be a juicer and the healthiest person going. But then I discovered this didn't work with my side effects. And sometimes all I can eat is bread or something like that. I know when you have cancer you feel you need to radically improve your life, but do that once you're chemo is over and you're clear. Whilst you're having chemo, just make it as easy as possible for yourself and eat what you need to. I can tell you now, fruit when you have an acidic tummy and a sore mouth is like chinese torture!! 

My boyfriend and I have decided we are going to run a marathon in 2015. I'm not sure which charity to do it for yet though. I want to raise awareness of Hodgkin's lymphoma though as I feel not many people know much about it. I didn't know anything about it until I got it. I believe awareness will be very beneficial. I also want to help other people going through all this. 

Anywhoooo, hope everyone has an amazing weekend :)

Much love x

Yesterday I saw my consultant and we discussed nausea.... they were very lovely and supportive. Although the solution is to heavily sedate me.... not so keen on that haha. But I guess it's better than nausea (if it works). A few of the nurses at the hospital are very good at their jobs and do go out their way to make sure you have what you need. Which is good and nice.

I am thinking of trying alternative therapies for my side effects. Going to deffo start yoga!

Also have some more film auditions - which will be good. Especially if I have some more worked lined up for when I'm better :)

So 6 days after chemo my nausea finally subsided! I'm still a bit bleuh but not half as bad!! I've eaten a lot this weekend just to stop myself feeling queasy. Hopefully I can go back to normal now (until next time).

It still amazes me how little support there is for people 25-40 with cancer. Forgive if this sounds harsh, but there is shit loads for kids. It's kind of like people think it must be easier when you hit 25. It's not. You just have life to contend with too. Like work, relationships, money etc etc. I think there should be more focus on cancer sufferers as a whole. I was told there would be support groups and all sorts and none of it was true. The only thing I found that I could do so was this week away with the youth cancer trust and that keeps getting cancelled because of the stupid hospital. And my youth support lady has called me maybe twice and keeps saying she'll be at my chemo to see how I am and discuss stuff with me and so we arrange a time etc and I go and she never comes. How bad is that? Kinda feel society doesn't care too much. And it's lame. I'm going to make sure one day that there is places for people my age to go and feel normal during this cancer crap. I think it's so important. When you're just finding your feet in then world and you get hit with such a major thing, you need places to go where you can vent and relax and have a laugh. Totally gonna make that happen for others one day!

This isn't me being negative. I just keep getting promised stuff like neet ups wth fellow sufferers my age and then the support worker doesnt come to the meeting shes arranged with me. so im like oooo and then disappointed. It's just really hard to do this chemo stuff. I despise it now. I've been trying to find a place to do yoga and things to help me balance my body and mind. Have had no luck so far. Someone wanted £40 per hour..... I get £70 a week and currently no one wants to employ females with little hair :( it is a bit depressing.

I have (hopefully) just two more months to go. I'm sure ill find the strength somewhere to manage it. I can't begin to describe how horrible ABVD is. And having to force yourself to go through it again is hard. Sometimes I think I could just walk away. But I can't. I need to complete it. My body is just so sensitive to everything and it can be a bit unbearable.

Sorry I'm moaning. Just want to have my life back now or do something fun. Had been so looking forward to my holiday and yeh, cancelled again. It's like one blow after another. Would just like a break.

Anyway - now that's off my chest. Hopefully I will be happy larry again next blog post :)

It's been a hard week. Just letting off steam!

hi all... so on Monday I had chemo number 4. I feel awful still :(  Even those adverts on TV that show drips make me gag. Anything hospital related gets me heaving. bleugh. it's horrible!! But I'm trying my hardest to manage it. I avoid thinking. I think I may look into some alternative therapies though, as my anti-emetics don't work. My brain is too stubborn for them. And funnily enough, I spoke to a nurse who had actually had chemo and she said she stopped taking her anti-emetics because they made her feel worse. and a lot of the sickness does come down to smells and associations.

my half-way scan is booked for the 30th.... then chemo should continue. I bloody hate chemo. I cannot wait till it's over. It gets harder every time and the smells get worse. Even writing this is making me gag.

My sisters wedding was nice... had a few drinks and a dance. shame I had to come back to reality. It was also saddening that some people struggled so much to talk to me. But what can you do eh? Got enough to be worrying about!!

The puppy is being very well behaved. She sleeps mostly on my bad days and is toilet trained pretty much. So that's good. When this nausea passes I will take her out for lots of walks :) But she's tiny so even a brief walk tires her out. I took her for a run the other day and she wanted carrying for half of it. I didn't carry her... lazy dog!!

puppy

Hey all,

Haven't posted for a while as been feeling ok and we got a puppy.... ever heard of puppy therapy? ;)

last week I had insomnia for most of the week. Not sure why as I don't take steroids anymore. I figured it could be my hormones all over the place. As my period didn't start when it was supposed to (still hasn't). Perks of chemo maybe? haha

I have chemo on Monday instead of Friday as I'm off to my sister's wedding this weekend and didn't want to be ill. Might make me feel worse on the chemo after (as it'll be back to a Friday) but I'm sure all will be fine.

Our puppy is called Poncho and she is a Mexican hot dog :) AKA a mini dachshund cross Chihuahua. She's small and fluffy and naughty. And currently chewing my arm.

Anywho.... I shall post again soon. I have a scan coming up and an appointment with my consultant etc.

x

If anyone would like to give me a miniature dachshund.... I would happily receive it :)

Sorry for my delay in posting.... have felt rather rough since chemo on Thursday. It gets worse every time haha. I hate it so much. I feel sick and gag even thinking about chemo now; I can't even look at my port anymore. But I'm working on controlling my thinking so I don't feel so sick.

Nausea was bad again.... started before I even got chemo. I found I couldn't take my nausea tablets as I can't swallow pills when I feel sick. But I think the tablets make me feel worse (which is bizarre). I have some sedative nausea tablets for next time..... hopefully I won't be dribbling in the corner.

My nemesis Dr Sore mouth returned but I have been trying to ignore him. I've had to eat because I've been feeling so sick if I don't eat and I keep getting hot flushes and faint feelings. So eating I have to do else I think I probably would just vomit and pass out. Hopefully it's not early menopause? :/

I'm finding it really hard not being able to work or do normal stuff.... it's boring and frustrating. You'd think with the invention of wigs it'd be okay not to have much hair but not everyone thinks like that. It's really isolating and God knows how people enjoy living off benefits. It's crap.

All these people who complain about having a cold or about stupid petty things really have no idea. I'd happily swap!! I just want to enjoy my life again and sort my career out and make plans and do what young people do.

Bring on July and hopefully remission!