Waiting for everything to start is quite a depressing time. I try and stay positive and optimistic but mainly I just feel tired and worn out. My thumb has been aching a lot and, considering I had my operation over a month ago now, I wish it would stop!!
Today my nurse called me as I had asked multiple questions yesterday, when I went for a chat with her. She has told me I can have a heart and lung function test (good news) and also that I can be referred to a fertility clinic. Now, I want kids one day and so having the opportunity to preserve my ovules is fantastic... however, it does mean I may have to delay my treatment by upto 6 weeks. I have been thinking this over quite a bit. I clearly don't want my cancer to get any worse but I really do want to protect my future. So I think I'm going to go along to the fertility clinic, ask a lot of questions and then decide. I will probably opt to have my ovules frozen though. You may wonder why.... well, I don't think my cancer is very fast moving and in the 2 months I've already waited, it hasn't really progressed much at all. So an extra 2-6 weeks probably won't do much damage. And also, it's going to take about 2 weeks for me to get my port sorted anyway!
I don't really know what the future has in store for me but all I do know is, I want to make the best I can out of it. I never really thought I'd be in a situation like this. I'm scared of the chemo and all these operations and stuff... but I'm sure they'll benefit me in the end.
All the best for now :) x
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