I feel I have complained a lot recently and I apologise for that. Chemo hasn't been very kind to me and sometimes I just need to vent. And I want my blog to be honest and to tell my real story. I wish it was all sparkles, rainbows and sunshine but unfortunately it's not. It seems I react quite a lot to most drugs and it can be really tough!

I currently can't sleep because my mouth hurts and I keep getting random aches and pains in my chest and tummy and all over. And then I start to worry what side effect I'm going to get next. Or if something else is wrong and it drives me nuts!

I've take difflam, aspirin, paracetamol and oral thrush treatment for my mouth and it still chuffing hurts. Wikipedia is so wrong about oral thrush not being painful. I think it's a you have to experience it to understand kind of a thing!

I wish so much that I could be a "normal" 25 year old. Everyone else is off havin fun and I can't even enjoy a sandwich. This year has pushed me to whole new limits and I've been through stuff I couldn't even imagine. I think people who think young people don't have life experience are idiots!! I have far too much life experience for my age :p

But in return for all this struggle I do get the best boyfriend in whole world. I think it's worth that. And if nothing else, this has brought us so much closer together. And not just because we have an army of embryos ;) and I think I'm learning to not let people walk all over me and to not tolerate so much bullshit. I have a new perspective. And I will live my life so much more after this. I think far too many people waste their lives and moan about such trivial crap.

So anyway - I aim to be more upbeat again. Just grumpy because my mouth hurts and I so want to eat yummy food!! Do me a favour and savor every bite of your meals :p I've been watching man vs food and some of those things look so good :p

x