So 6 days after chemo my nausea finally subsided! I'm still a bit bleuh but not half as bad!! I've eaten a lot this weekend just to stop myself feeling queasy. Hopefully I can go back to normal now (until next time).

It still amazes me how little support there is for people 25-40 with cancer. Forgive if this sounds harsh, but there is shit loads for kids. It's kind of like people think it must be easier when you hit 25. It's not. You just have life to contend with too. Like work, relationships, money etc etc. I think there should be more focus on cancer sufferers as a whole. I was told there would be support groups and all sorts and none of it was true. The only thing I found that I could do so was this week away with the youth cancer trust and that keeps getting cancelled because of the stupid hospital. And my youth support lady has called me maybe twice and keeps saying she'll be at my chemo to see how I am and discuss stuff with me and so we arrange a time etc and I go and she never comes. How bad is that? Kinda feel society doesn't care too much. And it's lame. I'm going to make sure one day that there is places for people my age to go and feel normal during this cancer crap. I think it's so important. When you're just finding your feet in then world and you get hit with such a major thing, you need places to go where you can vent and relax and have a laugh. Totally gonna make that happen for others one day!

This isn't me being negative. I just keep getting promised stuff like neet ups wth fellow sufferers my age and then the support worker doesnt come to the meeting shes arranged with me. so im like oooo and then disappointed. It's just really hard to do this chemo stuff. I despise it now. I've been trying to find a place to do yoga and things to help me balance my body and mind. Have had no luck so far. Someone wanted £40 per hour..... I get £70 a week and currently no one wants to employ females with little hair :( it is a bit depressing.

I have (hopefully) just two more months to go. I'm sure ill find the strength somewhere to manage it. I can't begin to describe how horrible ABVD is. And having to force yourself to go through it again is hard. Sometimes I think I could just walk away. But I can't. I need to complete it. My body is just so sensitive to everything and it can be a bit unbearable.

Sorry I'm moaning. Just want to have my life back now or do something fun. Had been so looking forward to my holiday and yeh, cancelled again. It's like one blow after another. Would just like a break.

Anyway - now that's off my chest. Hopefully I will be happy larry again next blog post :)

It's been a hard week. Just letting off steam!